


Not What I Expected

by masslessfields



Series: What He Doesn't Say [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: F/F, F/M, Gen, M/M, Multi, Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-29
Updated: 2015-09-29
Packaged: 2018-04-23 23:24:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 851
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4896265
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/masslessfields/pseuds/masslessfields
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>TW: PTSD, Violence, Depression, Mental Health related issues, attempted suicide, suicidal thoughts/ideations, etc.<br/>None of these characters belong to me even tho like if Cap was gonna /belong/ to anyone I'd def be first in line</p><p> </p><p>In all of those years he tried to con the Army into enlisting him, he never once realized what it would cost him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not What I Expected

He had never wanted to be the person he had become. All those years spent trying to con the Army into enlisting him, Erskine approaching him about the serum, there was no going back and he couldn’t keep being a weapon for a war he didn’t want to be fighting anymore and it was almost easy to do it. Almost. He couldn’t really concentrate with the pounding in his head and Peggy’s sobs in his ears. Even as he promised to meet her at the Stork Club next week to go dancing, they both knew he was lying. You see what history doesn’t know, or at least never acknowledges, is how much he had _wanted_ to crash and burn inside that plane. Burying the Tesseract with him felt like one last hurrah before not looking back, a fleeting feeling that maybe this _was_ his destiny after all, what Erskine saw in him back in 1941.

[Flashback] Somewhere to his right a body fell, a bullet, probably intended for him, sunk deep in the skull of a kid who shouldn’t even be over here fighting in this godforsaken country. But now was not the time for dirges and so he did what they all do and soldiered on. A blank face and the screams and cries of men on both sides of this thing muted by his desire to just follow his orders so he could get his men and get out. He fired at someone setting his sights on one of the Commandos. Shooting adeptly for someone who has only been able to see for a couple of years. “Thanks, Cap.” He heard Dugan shout from behind him. He grunted in response and just kept pushing ever forward.

He was fine. Alone. But fine. Before the war, he believed there was a God, he had grown up in the church, taking communion like every other kid in Brooklyn, praying to be healthy, to be normal, to be like all of the other boys he saw. Popular, good looking, hell, he would’ve taken just being able to take a deep breath for once without his chest rattling, to walk without his feet aching, to hear his mama singing as she’s washing the dishes or later to hear when her coughing fits got so bad that she needed a doctor. But now, now all there is, is darkness. Sometimes there’s Bucky. The cool, charming Bucky before the war, who had dames hanging off his shoulders like rags. The “With you ‘til the end of the line” Bucky who had stayed up all night with Steve the night his mama died, who would show up out of nowhere and jump right into the thick of things just to make sure Steve wouldn’t get hurt. The shipping-off-to-war Bucky, in a crisp uniform he never wanted to put on but he had to work to support himself and Steve and that meant not being in school and getting drafted. The not fully there Bucky after being rescued from that Hydra base but that’s okay because Steve is different too. Bucky is the only thing that gives him reason to believe this is Heaven. That is, until the sound of a Dodgers game starts playing in his head. His eyes creak open and he takes in the room around him. This is… different. He’s never been here. Not once. But that game, it’s coming from a radio in a corner of the room. He recognizes that game. He went to that game. So if it was playing here. Where was he? He pushed past a girl and ran. Ran into the middle of a street with- Are those cars? This looks familiar but not, like he’s been here before but he hasn’t? He passes out after hearing the words “You’ve been asleep, Cap. For almost seventy years.”

When he comes to, he’s surprised that he hasn’t been strapped to the bed this time around. “How long was I out this time? Another millennia and no one thought to fucking wake me up?” He asked bitingly. A voice came on over the intercom, “It’s only been a couple of hours, Captain Rogers. You’re in shock, you’ve been provided with fluids and nutrients intravenously to accommodate for the lack of-” “Get me the fuck out of here.” “Sir, we can’t do that we have reason to believe that you’re extremely dangerous to yourself and others right now.” The voice replied in what was supposed to be perceived as a calming tone. It wasn’t. “I’ll take care of this, from here. You can go.” The same man from before called out from a doorway Steve hadn’t noticed. Probably because there was no handle on it on the inside of the door. “I am Director Nick Fury, of S.H.I.E.L.D. and I am willing to answer any questions you might have so long as you answer a few of mine.” “What’s in it for me?” “I’ll move you to a secure facility where you can recuperate on your own and acclimate to this century without any distractions.”


End file.
